Good Evening, Citizens!
It is with great pleasure that I present to you…the fourth installment of Proxy’s Corner. In just 4 short weeks of starting this endeavor, I have now won 2 very prestigious awards. Be sure to congratulate me as I’ve now won the Nobel Peace Prize, and a Pulitzer Prize for public service. While both organizations aren’t aware of this amazing feat, I’ve no doubt they will learn and accept this as fact. Congrats to me.
Before I continue on to my “State of the Colony” tidbit, I must send out a sincere thank you to Peter Jacobson and Tory Kittles from Colony. They joined me and my cohorts on this past week’s Blab and were absolutely amazing. They were generous with their time, and couldn’t be any nicer. Thank you, gentlemen, for finding time in your busy schedules to speak with your fan base. On behalf of all the colonists everywhere – We appreciate you!
Missed the Blab? Shameful. At least you can redeem yourself and watch it again here.
As always, this edition will have more of “Ask Proxy.” If you have a question you would like answered by yours truly in a future edition – DM me on twitter or email me your question. I’ve postponed my next round of fan interviews until after the season finale. If you’d like to be interviewed, shoot me an email.
Also, Tracey from @TalkColonyTV on twitter has a great idea to get the attention of Walker Stalker Con. If you’re on twitter – Send out a tweet with the #InviteColonyWSC hashtag to get their attention and add some Colony guests!
Enough babble…On to the content…
STATE OF THE COLONY!
My fellow citizens!
The state of our colony is stro…
Oh hell. We are BLEEPin screwed.
Red Hats have been assassinated.
A damn train has been blown apart by the resistance.
The VIP on board is currently missing.
Someone is trying to take my THANKLESS job.
And Charlotte was stealing from the Hosts.
Once again…We are BLEEPin screwed!
STATE OF THE COLONY! (Take two)
Citizens of the LA bloc!
Our Colony IS strong. In a moment of weakness (Yes, even I’m allowed to have them.) I spoke too soon. Yes, it is true – There are pockets of resistance scum that will stop at nothing to destroy the peace and tranquility we’ve created in our bloc. I have no doubt that Beau will return – and under my impressive, if not amazing, leadership and guidance … We will prevail.
There is no one in the world more dedicated to the citizens of this fine bloc than me…I will not be replaced, I will not be threatened. And I certainly will not allow the resistance to bring us down. I will bring the VIP back home and those responsible for this heinous act will pay a price so dearly – the Factory would look like a vacation.
Trust in Homeland. Trust in the Transitional Authority Red Hats that risk their lives to protect you everyday. Finally, trust in me. Together – We can and will achieve everything we desire.
Your friend and ally,
Proxy Alan Snyder
P.S. Anyone seen Charlotte?
What qualifies you to answer questions from us? What makes you an expert?
I sense a certain hostility to your question, Steven. I hope you’ll be able to read the answer aboard the Factory bus. I’ve been made an expert by the Hosts…Hence the amazing title, Proxy Governor. Not to mention the fact that I’m genuinely frickin awesome and pretty much whatever I say – goes.
We know your love for bacon. Would you still collaborate if there was no bacon?
NO BACON!? THAT’S BLASPHEMY! First and foremost – I would and will always collaborate. Secondly, if I can build a wall such as we have, and can put a Factory on the moon…I would find a way to get bacon. I will bring home the bacon!
I choose to collaborate, but my boyfriend is trying to get me to switch sides and resist. What should I do about this?
Your loyalty is an inspiration. Your boyfriend is a termite. Time to exterminate and move on. Plenty of fish in the bloc – In fact, I know a guy…his name is Nolan…recently single. I’ll give him your number.