Hello good citizens of the bloc!
Before I get into my speech and other stuff – A big THANK YOU to all those that participated in last night’s #ColonyChat Twitter Party! It was a huge success – and far beyond even my own expectations! It was a lot of fun and we talked about a lot of great Colony stuff! Here’s some quick stats from our hour long party:
– Over 150 different twitter users participated with more than 5 tweets from each
– Our main tracking software actually FAILED we did so well!
– Over 3,600 tweets flooded all of twitter in just one hour
– #ColonyChat actually trended for a short time
– Quite a few lucky winners of various Colony prizes (Congrats everyone!)
– At least 3 Twitter users were relegated to Twitter Jail!
An absolute success – We will definitely do it again! Thanks to everyone that joined in and if you missed this one, there will be more so stay tuned! Thank you to the show, Colony, for supplying the many prizes we gave away – Couldn’t have done it without your support!
Now, let’s get to the serious stuff!
STATE OF THE COLONY
Have no fear, I am here!
I have returned to power just as I promised I would. The resistance is now shaking with fear. (And so is Bennett. Sucker.)
The imposter, Proxy Chump Alcala, will not be in charge of the bloc much longer. He has only RUINED our fine bloc, and Helena is one unhappy lady. Together, she and I will replace his pathetic leadership and bring this bloc back to where it belongs.
Many of you are worried about the gauntlet, the Red Hands, and Broussard. Let me update you on this critical situation. The gauntlet is back in our possession and is safe. There was never any real danger.
The Red Hands are in shambles and are now on the run. We will have them all locked away and sent to the Factory soon. Can you believe they ever thought they stood a chance?
We had Broussard in our crosshairs and launched an offensive campaign to terminate him. He did manage to escape this time, but we are actively tracking him and will have him terminated shortly. Will Bowman is still deep undercover and reporting back daily on Broussard’s activities. It’s only a matter of time.
This next bit of information is still classified and I urge you to keep quiet about it. I am entrusting you with this information… We have another Bowman on the inside. Bram has volunteered to work undercover as well – This time with the Red Hands. He has successfully infiltrated their leadership and will be reporting back soon. We wish you well, Bram Bowman. Good luck.
And finally…Let me remind you all that we are in this together. We are a family. All of us. Family sticks together to succeed during this occupation. That being said, Nolan and Maddie have committed the ultimate sin – They’ve turned on their family and are now only thinking of themselves. Nolan will be removed from power, and Maddie will be handled accordingly as well. NEVER turn your back on family.
I’m here for you Colonists. I will save our bloc.
Enjoy your weekend and stay safe.
Fearless for you,
Proxy Alan Snyder (I’m back and with some nice suits again, too!)
What did you REALLY want to say to Bennett when you two finally met?
“You’re an idiot.” “What’s wrong – You look like you’ve seen a ghost” “Yeah, i’ll fix your mess too.” “You really believed in someone named Alcala? How stupid could you be?” Any or all of the above.
Before the invasion, did you watch TV?
Sure. My DVR is still full … of House reruns. I liked SpongeBob a lot too.
You really are awesome, do you know that?
I look in the mirror every day and thank my lucky stars that i’m me. It’s hard work being this amazing, but i do it all for you – for all the Colonists out there…Especially Erin Conrad (She’s my biggest fan)
Now that you’re in a new position of power, what’s your opinion on bacon?
Bacon is a lot like our drones. Awesome, amazing, and can never get enough of it. Wait…Bacon is a lot like me!
Thanks for reading Colonists! Don’t forget to listen to the Talk Colony Podcasts – They’re always fun, and we’ve been lucky enough to chat with each of the Bowman kids – Check it out! See you next week!