My favorite Colonists…
Before I begin, this week’s edition is unofficially brought to you by the fine people at:
SUNKIST, FAYGO, FANTA, CRUSH, MIRINDA, MINUTE MAID, and TANGO. All fine purveyors of orange soda. Cool and refreshing, tasty, and with a rushing sensation straight to your tummy – it’ll knock you dead with delight! Yay orange soda!
Here’s what we learned this week…
- Burke is a jerk. Correction, was.
- Planes still work – at least for a little while.
- The resistance is growing and there are plans even outside the bloc.
- Will is one tough, cunning cookie.
- Katie and Broussard really can kick some butt.
- Never mess with the Bowman kids.
- Watch out for Charlie – nothing fazes him. Stashes oranges … orange soda … Coincidence?
- Alcala is a pompous, good-for-nothing blowhard who has finally crossed the line.
42 minutes of television and I think it’ll take 42 hours just to digest it all. The world of Colony – I love it! Don’t forget to join the #RenewColonyNow campaign on twitter and facebook – link below!
STATE OF THE COLONY
Fellow citizens –
I don’t want to be “that guy” that says I told you so … but … I TOLD YOU SO!
Alcala is worthless – Cares for nothing besides himself. Helena has seen the light! Who does she call? ME.
You heard that right … ME.
I’ve said for 341 days straight – Look out for the “RISE OF THE PROXY.” Well, here it is. The bloc is in chaos. The resistance is growing. The current imposter, Proxy Chump, can’t handle his business and thinks that he can downplay Helena and the power behind her.
I’ve said I’d return to power…I’ve said I had a plan. As with all things (except one minor incident), I keep my word. I will save our bloc. I will save our country. I will save the world.
You’re welcome. Anyone care to join me later today for an orange soda?
Stay safe Colonists.
All the best,
Proxy Alan Snyder (I’M COMING BACK!)
How is it going to look for you that you hired Bowman? Will you continue to help the Bowmans when the time comes?
I look like a genius since now I have a “double agent” inside the resistance. I accomplish things other Proxies only dream about. I support Will and his family 100%.
What do you think Helena called you in for?
Probably asking for a second date. She’s been bugging me for months. Besides that – she needs me to save the world and who am I to say no?
Now that Helena has finally “woken up” and called you back in, what will be your first order of business?
Change out of these crummy suits. Then send that chump, Alcala, packing.
How do you feel that Helena saved you from the work camp?
I’m giddy with excitement … it’s always a good feeling to see Helena come crawling back for me needing my brilliance to save the bloc.
After seeing what some of the RAPs were up to, do you think you are headed to joining the resistance to help save humankind? And will you get the girl (Helena)?
First and foremost, Helena already loves me – so you can check that off the list. Secondly, I will do what is necessary to survive and to bring not just the bloc, but the entire world, back to order. I’m a savior, a hero, a brilliant mastermind. Know this: Humankind will never fail or falter while Proxy Snyder is on the job.
That’s all for now! Make sure you join the #RenewColonyNow movement! Tweet the hashtag, or visit our campaign on facebook at www.facebook.com/RenewColonyNow!